Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Things that make me go ... "What the hell?!?!?!" ...

There are numerous things with this photo that are mind boggling ...

1.  Why did he only take ONE shoe off???

2.  Why didn't he push in the chair when he got up to leave???

3.  Is he walking around the house with ONE shoe on???

4.  Does he have both socks on ... or will I find one sock in the bathroom???

5.  Where exactly is the other shoe???

6.  I really need to mop my floors.



Remember ... click on the link below and vote for my blog!!!  Later all ... I have a floor to sweep and mop.
Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Because I suck at giving presents ...

For the past two years Clint and I have not done Christmas gifts for one another.

Not because we did not wanna splurge and shower the other with gifts ...

But because we live in a crappy economy ...

And live paycheck to paycheck ...

Like many of you out there ...

So ... we had to do the lame ass "grown up thing" and veoted giving one another gifts ...

And showered the children with gifts instead.

I would just like to state that Momma would LOVE a new KU hoodie or these amazing snow boots!!!  I know I know I know ... stupid responsibility.

So ... while I was personally slowing down the internet connection across the world from all of my cyber shopping I was doing the other day ... I came across this amazing Chicago Bears watch that Clint would have LOVED.  It was that type of gift that he would TOTALLY realize just how much I loved him from the moment he opened up the box on Christmas morning ... while running towards me to sweep me up in my arms screaming "THANK YOU"!!!  Ok ... so maybe that is a slight exaggeration.  He would not literally scream "THANK YOU"!!!  He would probably kiss me instead.

To top off this amazing watch that I found ... it was so affordable.

AKA ... cheep.

Perhaps ... found in a gumball machine ... type of cheep.

So ... I ordered it.

Two days later ...

The mail came and there were a few packages ...

And some bills ...

Stupid bills.

I figured the packages were things that I had ordered for the kids online.  NEVER in a MILLION years did I EVER think that the watch that I ordered ... TWO days ago ... would be in one of the packages.


So ... since I assumed it was just the kids gifts ... and NEVER in a MILLION years did I EVER think that it was the watch ... that I ordered TWO days ago ... I tossed one of the boxes to Clint ... and him open one of them for me.

So you can imagine my surprise ... since NEVER in a MILLION years did I EVER think it was gonna be the watch ... that I ordered TWO days prior ... when Clint had this confused look on his face once he opened the box.

Followed by a "oh my word you suck at giving presents" type of smile.

Damn it!!!

It was the darn watch ... that I had ordered TWO days ago!!!  What happened to the post office loosing packages and taking "longer than expected" to arrive due to the holiday season.

*sigh*

I suck at giving presents.

Merry Christmas Clint ... try to act surprised on Christmas morning when you open your Chicago Bears watch.

Oh wait ... you are already wearing it.

Please take a moment and vote for my blog.  I would greatly appreciate it.  Currently I am ranked #32 on Top Mommy Blogs ... but I wanna be in the top 25 by January 1st.  Stay tuned for ways that I try to bribe polietly ask people to vote for me in an upcoming blog post.
Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Monday, November 28, 2011

Black Friday 2011 ...

Last year I blogged about our Black Friday experience ...

here ...

here ...

and here ...

This year ... my husband was once again my Black Friday hero.

Our 10 year old daughter has been wanting her own little laptop ... and Target had a really good price for one.  But it was a door buster deal.  Which meant ... someone was gonna have to go and stand in line to secure one of those little Christmas miracles under the tree for Breeanna.

At 6:30 p.m. Clint came down the stairs announcing that he was gonna head over to Target to be sure he was in front of the line.

Shit ... the dishes were not even clean from Thanksgiving dinner ...

And this man was gonna go and get a place in line just so his dughter could get her laptop under the Christmas tree.  What a good Daddy/Husband.

SEE!!!

Black. Friday. Hero.

Sorry ladies ... he is taken.

Besides feeling like Target was hearding customers in like cattle ... Clint said the whole experience went well.  He called me once he got the laptop ... and I stated hollaring out different items that I wanted him to grab ... that I had circled in the Target ad.

He. Got. Them. All.

Stop two ... Wal-Mart.

Harleigh so badly wanted a basketball goal.  She is CERTAIN that Santa is gonna be bringing this extremely large object in his sleigh.  Unfortunately ... three Wal-Mart stores later ... no basketball goal.  *sigh*  So now ... Santa is gonna have to decide if he wants to pay full price for a basketball goal ... since he did not score a basketball goal at the door buster price on Black Friday.  *sigh*

So ... alot of money later ...

Christmas presents are not even close to being done ...

And the checkbook is empty ...

But on the brightside ...

I am married to the Superman of Black Friday.

Please take a moment and vote for my blog.  I would really appreciate it.  One click on the little box below ... is all it takes. 
Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgving/Black Friday Eve ...

When the kitchen smells spicy and wonderful ...

It can only mean one thing ...

It is not my kitchen!!!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!


Before you take a nap from all of the yummy food you have had ... click on the link below and vote for my blog.  Nighty night!
Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

One day till Turkey Day (AKA: Black Friday Eve)

One more day till we do the gobble wobble ... while shakin' and bakin ... then waddle and roll.


Please take a moment and vote for my blog.  One little click is all it takes.
Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Two days till Turkey Day (AKA: Black Friday Eve)

May your turkey be plump ...

Your potatoes and gravy never have a lump ...

May your pies take the prize ...

And may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs.


Don't forget to vote.  1 second is all it will take.
Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Three days till Turkey Time (AKA: Eve of Black Friday)

I think it is a good thing that the Indians gave the Pilgrams a turkey ... and not a donkey.

It would be a little stranger sitting around the table on Thanksgiving Day and have to say ... "Can you pass me some ass?"

Hey you!!!  Get back here ... don't forget to click on the link below and cast a vote for my blog.
Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Four Days till Turkey Day (AKA: Black Friday Eve)

Thanksgiving ... the one day it is socially exceptable to stuff bread crumbs up a dead turkey's butt.

Pretty Pretty Please ... with sugar on top ... click on the little box below and vote for my blog.  All it takes is clicking the box ... that's it.  Then you can go aboutyour merry way.
Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Friday, November 18, 2011

I am sorry! I can't hear you from all the ringing that is going on in my ears ...

Two days ago ... Eythen and I were sitting down stairs watching Thomas the Train (one of the MANY days that he has been home from school sick) ... when suddenly the freaking smoke dectors started going off.

*BEEP*  *BEEP*  *BEEP*

Crap!  What do I grab first?  The house is gonna burn down!  SHIT!  We never did set up renters insurance.

*panic running through my sole*

Eythen does not take his eyes off the tv ...

Except to say "Can you turn that thing off?  I can't hear the tv."

*roll my eyes at my child*

WAIT!!!  It is just the smoke dector in the hallway upstairs going off.

I drag one of the kitchen chairs up the stairs and try to reach the smoke dector.

*BEEP*  *BEEP*  *BEEP*

Are these beeps getting louder???

Damn.

Low and Behold ... my 5 foot body can not reach the smoke dector with the stupid kitchen chair.

DAMN!

I drag the ladder out of the garage ... up the stairs ... nearly taking out the stupid cat along the way.

How does this stupid ladder even open?

*BEEP*  *BEEP*  *BEEP*

SHUT UP!!!

I finally get up the ladder ... pull the battery out of the smoke dector ...

*BEEP*  *BEEP*  *BEEP*

Mother F**KER!!!

What the hell?!?!?!

Eythen:  MOM!!!  I can not hear Thomas!!!

Me:  I can't hear anything from all the ringing that is going on in my ears!!!  I think we are even!!!

I then realize that it is the stupid smoke dector in Clint's and my bedroom going off.

So ... I drag the ladder into our bedroom.  Nearly taking out the dog this time.

I pull that battery out ...

*BEEP*  *BEEP*  *BEEP*

F**K!!!

Then I notice this button in the center of the smoke dector.  I have no idea if it will shut this damn thing up or it direct dials 911 if I push it ... but I take that risk and push it.  After all ... if it does direct dial 911 ... maybe they can get this stupid thing to SHUT UP!!!

*silence ... except for the ringing that is going on in my ears*

I text Clint: The smoke dectors are going off.

No reply.

Two hours later ...

*BEEP*  *BEEP*  *BEEP*

Eythen:  Not again!

What the HELL?!?!?  The damn thing does not have a battery in it.  How in the WOLRD is it going off?!?!?!

This time ... I take the broom up the stairs for reinforcements.  I hit it ... once ... maybe twice ... and hit that stupid center button again.

And it stops ...

I text Clint: The smoke dectors are STILL going off.

No reply.

Good thing he is not concerned about his wife going down in flames.

Three hours later Clint comes home ...

Me:  Did you get my text?

Clint:  Yeah.

*looking straight at him with irritated eyes*

Me:  AND?!?!?

Clint:  What was I suspose to do about it?  I was at work!  If the house did burn down ... someone would have to pay for the new furniture.

*sigh*

Me:  Go and fix the smoke dector so it does not do it again.

Clint:  And what exactly does that entale?

The next day ...

*BEEP*  *BEEP*  *BEEP*

You have GOT to be kidding me?!?!?

Eythen: Not again!

This time ... I went up with a broom in one hand ... and a hammer in the other.  I was not messing around this time.

*BEEP*  *BEEP*  *BEEP*

*whack*

*slap*

*take that bitch*

Silence ...

I text Clint:  The stupid things are going off again!

No response.

Two hours later ...

*BEEP*  *BEEP*  *BEEP*

I literally debate just leaving the stupid house and sitting in the SUV for the rest of the day until Clint gets home.

*whack*

*slap*

*shut the HELL up*

I text Clint:  Yes ... in case you are wondering why I am texting you ... it is just to let you know that the smoke dectors are going off AGAIN!  I might be deaf by the time you get home.

No response.

Clint is officially annoying me just as much as this stupid smoke dector.

15 minutes later ...

*BEEP*  *BEEP*  *BEEP*

I set there wondering how long one can possible handle these annoying BEEPS.

10 seconds later ...

That's it!  This bitch is mine!

This smoke dector is going down!

I might having possibly hit it so many times that it admitted defeat ...

Possibly.

I text Clint:  If you come home and there is a hole in the ceiling please ignore it.  Yes ... the smoke dectors are going off again!

Clint replied with:  It must be from all of your HOTTNESS.

?!?!?!?!

You can not be serious?!?!?!?

I text back:  I can not seem to hear you with all the ringing that is going on in my ears.

As we are getting ready for bed later that night ...

Me:  Will you just take the smoke dector out of the ceiling please?

Clint:  Yeah.

Me:  My sanity thanks you.

Clint:  My sanity thanks you.

Me:  What am I suspose to do if the damn thing still goes off even though it is not hooked up?

Clint:  Get the hell out of this haunted house.

Clint takes the smoke dector out of the wall and heads down the stairs to lock up the house.

*beep*  *beep*

Me:  CLINT!!!  HOLY SHIT!!!  Did you just hear that?!?!?  The smoke dector just let out two itty bitty beeps!

Clint:  It letting you know who is the boss.

Wait!  Get back here!  Click on this link below and vote for my blog!
Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Come on in ...

Dirty dishes prove I feed my family ...

A full trash can means I clean up after them ...

Messy floors mean I let my children have fun ...

A pile of laundry means I keep my family in clean clothes ...

A wet bathroom means I bathe my kids.

So the next time you walk into my house and see a "mess" think twice before you judge.

If you come over to see us, come on in...if you're coming over to see my house, please make an appointment.

Please take a moment to vote for my blog.  I would greatly appreciate it!
Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Stupid virus ...

My youngest son has had a fever since he came home from school on Thursday.

Yes ... today is Tuesday.

Yes ... I waited that long before I took him to the doctor.

Yes ... it was slighly embarassing to answer the question "So when did Eythen's symptoms start?"

Yes .... I think I might have officially crossed over to "The Mom that waites WAY to long to take her child to the doctor because she really does not wanna spend $80 on an office visit to walk out with just being told it is a virus and it needs to take it corse" ... aka: Bad Mom.

But ... for the record (so Child Protective Services does not come knocing on my door) ...

The kid never acted like he was sick.  Not. Once.

He still ate enough food to qualify as a human garbage disposal.

It was like trying to nail jello to a tree just to get him to lay down for 45 minutes and rest.

It was basically a mission impossible to keep him away from his sisters in hopes of not  spreading this crap throughout the house.

*sigh*

It had been back and forth since Friday afternoon ...

One minute I thought he was over it because fever was gone ...

Then the next moment I am trying to find the thermometer ... which we seem to loose on an hourly basis ...

And breaking out the Tylenol.

Perhaps ... I should have taken him on Monday when the fever came back (for the 854th time).  But come on ... he is my 3rd child ... and things do not seem as "serious" as they use to be when I just had one child and rushed her to the ER if she had snot running down her nose.

Now a days ... I attempt to cure it with Tylenol.

So ... Monday afternoon I FINALLY made an appointment for him on Tuesday morning.  Sure enough ... Tuesday morning ... he did not have a fever.  I debated with myself on taking him to the doctor ... or waiting "just one more day".  But ... I finally decided that the $80 doctor visit was only one weeks worth of groceries ... and we could live off of Mac-n-Cheese and bologna.

And the verdict was ... A STUPID VIRUS ... go home and give him some more Tylenol if he starts to run a fever again.

DAMN IT!!!

*stomping foot*

I should have stuck with my "neglectful parenting style since I have 3 child and do not wanna spend an arm and a leg at the doctors office because I live paycheck to paycheck" tatitcs.

Here is to a week of Mac-n-Cheese and bologna!!  *gag me*


Take a moment and click on the link below and vote for my blog.  It will not change the factor that I now have a doctors bill to pay for ... but it will add to my happiness for the day.
Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

How smart can one vechile possibly be???

There has been a little debate going on in our house since the beginning of summer.  It was the great debate of SUV vs. Mini Van.  My husband wanted the van because it gets better gas mileage than 2 blocks to a gallon that the SUV's that we have always owned seemed to get.  Me on the other hand ... I still wanted a SUV.

After all ... the gas stations always seem to welcome me with open arms everytime me and my gas guzzler pull up.

SUV's are just my cup of tea.

I look cool in them.

Now ... I am not saying YOU are not cool if YOU drive a minivan.  I am just saying that I do not look cool in a minivan.

I am not even sure why Clint even brought the idea of a minivan to the table ... did he really think he was gonna win this family debate?!?!?  Come on.  He can't say no to me.

*wink*

So ... after ALOT of searching.  And ALOT of begging and pleading.  And ALOT of batting my eyes.  Clint bought me a beautiful Lincoln Navigator.  It is shiney ... and black ... fully loaded ... and WAY smarter than me.

Since we have driven my pretty pimpin mobile off the car lot ... I have had ALOT of "issuses" with this piece of smart ass metal.

First off ...

I thought I was turning the blinker on ... but instead I pushed the button to make the side mirrors close.  Did I mention that it was PITCH BLACK outside and I did not have a CLUE what button I hit to close the side mirrors.  So yes ... I had to pull over and get out the owners manual.

Of course their was the moment that ...

I somehow turned on the windshield wippers while driving down the highway.  Yet again ... I did not have a CLUE where the darn windshiled wippers button was.  So yes ... I drove all the way home ... with the windshield wippers on ... on a day that the sun was shining.

We can not forget ...

The first time I got in the SUV and pulled out of my driveway ... 4 seconds down the road I hear: *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*  Now please imagine these *beep*'s REALLY fast and REALLY loud.  Almost as if a bomb is about to go off and you need to get the f**k out of the way.  Yeah.  I slightly peed my pants.  Come to find out ... this "luxery" piece of metal will notifiy you INSTANTLY if you do not buckle up and put the darn vechile in drive.  It will NOT SHUT OFF.  It WILL keep going!

There was the time that ...

I was sitting in the Chipotle parking lot.  Minding my own business.  Texting my husband a photo of my Chipotle cup.  Rubbing in the fact that I was eating Chipotle for lunch and he was having a cold sandwich at work ... when all of the sudden I hear: *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*.  SHIT!!!  Now what?!??!  I am not in drive.  I am not moving.  I AM buckled.  Then I see someone walking close to the backend of my vechile.  Come to find out ... I have a device that *beep*'s at me if something (or someone) is behind me.  Pro ... if one of my children decide to walk behind me while I am backing out of the driveway.  Con ... if I am sitting in the Chipotle parking lot and some dousche bag decides to get to close to my Pimpin SUV and scare the crap out of me.

Then there was the 'oh so embarrassing moment when ...

I was pulling up to Eythen football game ... and needed to roll down my window to pay for the kids and I to get through the gate to go and park.  Except ... I had NO FLIPPIN CLUE where the button was to roll down the window.  It was NOT in the "normal place" on the drivers side door.  Oh no!  Not my luxery piece of metal.  So ... I had to open my door ... apologize because I was such a moron and could not find the button to roll down MY OWN SUV window ... and pay ... all the while my children were laughing till they had tears falling down their face in the backseat.

Who could forget about the factor that ...

My keychain has a button on it .. that opens up the back window ... on the backend of the vechile.  I did not realize that I hit the button.  I noticed that there was a red signal that kept flashing on my dashboard that said "lift gate adjar".  To begin with ... I had no idea where the "lift gate" even was!!!  Which mean ... I had no idea what "lift gate adjar" even meant!!!  That was ... until Clint let me know that I was a big 'ol dork ... and opened up the back window on my keychain ... and did not even know it.

I am week two into driving this amazingly intellegant device ... but I am POSITIVE that I will still have some "learning experiences" along the way.

Please take a moment and click on this link below and vote for my blog.  I promise that it is simple ... unlike my new vechile.
Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Life According to a Bitchy Cat ...

She is back by popular demand!!!

IzzaBell ... the world's bitchest cat!!!




Please take a moment and vote for my blog!!!  I am currently still ranked #32 on Top Mommy Blogs.
Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Trick or treat ...

Well ... the children finally decided on a costume for Halloween.

And ... it only took 18 different costume changes to finally decide on it.

So without further adieu ...

I present to you ...

Two very cute cowgirls ... and One handsome cowboy.

But through out the night Eythen did tell people that he was a farmer as well.  Oh yeah ... at one point in time he told someone that he was Papa Gene (AKA: my Dad whom Eythen thinks is cooler than McDonalds).














I hope all of you had a spooktacular Halloween!!!  I have been checking ... and double checking ... the kiddos Halloween candy ... to make sure it is safe and sound.  Honestly ... I am still checking some of them.  Yes ... this means that I must taste test some of the candy.  Especially the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. 

Please take a moment and click on the link below and vote for my blog.
Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Heaven just gained one really cool guy ...

I have not blogged for a few days because ...

On Tuesday my Grandpa passed away.

He lived a long life ... he was 95 years old.  I know he was tired and missing my Grandma terribly and "ready to go" ... but it is still hard to loose a family member.  His health had been dwindling for awhile now ... but he still kept on trucking.  He kept fighting to see another day.

So when my Mom called at 3:30 on Tuesday ... to tell me that my Grandpa had a heart attack ... and that his body was shutting down ... and it was just a matter of time.  My initial reaction was to cry ... but part of me thought that he was gonna be ok.  He would be back at home the following day ... listening to his country music.  But ... the other part of me ... knew.

Not even two hours later ... the phone rang ... and I saw my Mom's cellphone number on caller id.  I sat there staring at the phone ... listening to it ring.  I did not really wanna answer it.  I guess I kind of thought that if I just ignored it ... then it won't happen.

But ... I still picked up the phone ... and listened to my Mom on the other end of the phone tell me that my Grandpa was no longer with us.  Those words are nothing anyone wants to hear.  I cried.  I cried alot.  At one point in time during the night ... as I was sitting on the couch crying ... as Clint was hugging me ... Harleigh (my middle daughter) leaned up against me and said "At least Grandpa and Grandma are back together again.  I am sure he missed her awhole bunch."  Kids sure do have away of making hard times easier.

Wednesday I was asked to write something that could be read at the funeral.  I thought about what I could possibly say about Grandpa on Wednesday ... and by Wednesday evening ... I told Clint that I did not have a clue on where to even begin.  Of course ... Clint told me that I would figure it out because I was the best at making words sound perfect.  (I am still not sure what he was buttering me up for?!?!?!)

By 8:30 on Thursday morning ... I typed out everything that I wanted to say ... and ready for the world to hear.  I put my heart into it.  I said everything that made me think of him.  I cried the whole time I was typing it.  But most importantly ... I wanted my Dad to be proud of what I was saying.  Sure I was writing something so Grandpa would know how much I loved and admired him ... but it was also very important for my Dad to know that I was doing it for him as well.

10:00 Friday morning ... my Grandpa was layed to rest ... and this is what they read at the funeral from me ...

I grew up right down the road from my Grandpa ... and have more memories than I even know what to do with. Everytime I sit down ... moments with him throughout my childhood keep flashing back at me. He always went out of his way to be sure that you felt special. If I was home sick for the day ... you could bet your bottom dollar that Grandpa would be making a trip to Kentucky Fried Chicken ... and load me up on mashed potatoes for lunch. It was just a given. He always did it. He always had a way of making you feel like you just colored the most amazing work of art that he ever saw ... even if it was just ripped out of a coloring book. I remember he use to let us earn money by picking up rocks off the sidewalk ... and taught me how to drive a lawn mower. It was the little things that he did ... that made him so special in my heart. You could always count on Grandpa to have candy bars and Pepsi in the frig ... and peanut brittle and chocolate covered peanuts in the house at Christmas time. One thing that I will always remember about my Grandpa ... was that he could rock a pair of overalls, button up shirt and lace up boots like no one else!!! I can still hear his amazing laugh.  If I close my eyes I can picture him sitting in his chair in the living room twiddling his thumbs. He was a man of few words ... but when he spoke you always listened. He worked hard during his life ... and had rough hands to prove it ... but still gave the best hugs any grandkid could ask for.

When I heard about Grandpa passing away ... I instanly had visions of Grandma and Grandpa running up to one another up in heaven hugging each other. I could then vision Grandma looking him right in the eyes saying in her stern voice "What took you so long? I have been waiting a long time to see you." As much as we are sad to see him go ... he is back with the woman that he loves. Grandpa is gone ... but never forgotten. I will think of him every single time I look upon the stars ... and I know he will be looking back at me. He was an amazing man who will be missed terribly.

Please take a second to vote for my blog.
Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Day off ...

I am taking the day off from blogging today.

Yep!!!  You read right!!!

October has been one thing after another ...

and I need a break.

On the bright side ...

With October out of the way and November here it means 3 things in my world ...

1.  KU Basketball offically begins!!!

2.  I am that much closer to having my Grandma's mashed potatoes and gravy on Thanksgiving Day!!!

3.  Christmas decorations will be going up REALLY SOON!!! 
Yes ... I said really soon!!!  I normally put them up the weekend after Halloween ... but Clint refuses to get the boxes down for me until at least 2 weeks after Halloween.  And since I have no desire to get on a ladder and dangle from the ceiling trying to pull the boxes off the 10 foot shelves ... I will just go with the flow.

Please feel free to still vote for my blog ... pretty please?!?!?!

Don't forget to click on the link below and vote for my blog!
Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!