What the hell Mother Nature?!?!?!

Last night I took another amazing Tylenol PM ... and was sound asleep by 8:45 pm.  I know!!!  8:45!!!  That is just crazy talk ... but I was out like a light.

I was dreaming about the stupidest thing ...

I was at a pond where people were jumping in  ... and then they were hooked to a fishing pole.  They would swim out as far as they could ... and then the person on the other end would pull them back in with the fishing  pole.

Stupid ass dream.

Suddenly a shark appeared ... in the pond ...

And bit half of someone off.

Next thing I know ... I am calling for help.  For some unknown reason ... I call my bestfriend's Mom FROM ELEMENTARY SCHOOL for help.  How the hell did I know her phone number is beyond me ... but I dialed it and started to scream for her to come to the pond and save the half eaten person.

Suddenly it starts to rain ...

And everyone runs for shelter ...

The rain is hitting the walls of the shelter really hard ...

And the wind is blowing even harder ...

I suddenly wake up to what sounds like hail hitting the side of our house.  I lay there ... half out of it ... because I have only been asleep for an hour and a half with the Tylenol PM.  I noticed that Clint was still downstairs ... and all the lights were on.  I debated on crawling out of bed to see if we were in a bad storm warning ... or just praying that I did not get blown away and closing my eyes and going back to sleep.

As the wind began to blow even harder I decided to drag my butt out of bed to see if we were gonna get blown away.

As I began to head out the bedroom door ... I was greeted by Clint making a mad dash into our room.  He was suddenly putting on shoes ... and telling me to wake the kids up because we had 3 minutes before a possible tornado was suspose to come through our town.

Like a crazed mad woman ... I go flying into the kids rooms ... tossing shoes at them ... and telling them to get down the stairs to take cover.

Yeah ... I might have possibly tramatized their little minds.  I am blaming it on the Tylenol PM.

Needless to say ... we do not have a basment.

Which sucks donkey balls big time.

We are all crammed into a little closet ... except my annoying oh-so-smart husband who is talking on the phone while watching the tv.

In the mean time ... I was trying to get Eythen to stop shaking from pure fear.  I was trying to get Breeanna to catch her breath from crying so hard.  I was trying to get Harleigh to not worry about the stupid cat that she had in one arm and the dog she had in the other.  I was trying not to have a nervous break down on my own.  I was convincing myself that this is gonna be a horrible year with storms.  I was reminding myself that we need to buy a home ASAP that has a basement.  I was wondering why the hell my husband was still standing in the living room.  I was wondering how I was gonna support 3 children on my own when my husband got blown away because he did not take cover.  I was wondering how excited my parents would be when me and the kids moved back in with them because Clint and our home got blown away in this storm.  I was wondering why I never had Clint show me how to use the grill because now I am suddenly gonna have to grill the burgers because he got blown away.

Clint:  It is over.  You guys can come out now.

Me:  When exactly is the weather "bad enough" for you to take cover with us?

Clint:  I don't know.

Me:  You are annoying.

Clint:  You are cranky.

Me:  True that.

Please take a moment to vote for my blog.

Can I have your autograph please???

Awhile back I was asked to submit some of my blog post to a website called Heard on the Playground.  They have put about 20 of my blog post on the website since last July.

Then around October I was contacted by the owner of the website letting me know that some of my blog post had been submitted to be put into a book that she was publishing.

NO KIDDING!!!

Potty mouth-forget proper English-with misspelled words left and right ME ... in a book?!?!?!

Are you serious?!?!?!

They were as serious as nachos need to be smoothered in cheese!!!

They even sent me one of the books the moment they went up on Amazon for sale.

I was suddenly like a kid on Christmas morning ... skimming through the book ... finding post that I had wrote.  One of the coolest moments of my semi-organized chaotic life.

You can order the book from Amazon by clicking here ...

I am sure my Mom is the only one that will ever want my autograph ... but I am hear if anyone wants my John-Hancock on a piece of paper.  After all ... you never know ... I could be mad famous someday.

Or locked up in a padded room.

Please take a moment and vote for my blog.  Just click the link below ... and you will automatically cast a vote.

Have Gambino's number on stand by ...

As you know ... I am addicted to Pinterest.  Which ... makes me think I can cook.  Which ... sometimes it seems like I am getting the hang of this whole boiling water thing.  And other times ... we are right back to dialing Gambino's number last minute because I screwed up dinner ... again.

Since the times that a meal actually TURNS OUT ...

AND ...

When at least 2 out of 3 of the Moore children like it ...

Are few and far from in between.

So when those golden moments happen ... it is a time to celebrate.

So I have decided to add some of the meals that turned out ...

AND ...

Only 1 out of 3 of my children pouted and begged for chicken nuggets.

CHICKEN ENCHILADA PASTA

2-3 chicken breasts, cooked & shredded

1/2 tsp. salt

2 {10 oz.} cans green chili enchilada sauce

2/3 cups red enchilada sauce

1 {10 oz.} can of tomato sauce

2 cups shredded cheese {I used personally used cheddar}

1 cup sour cream

Penne pasta

Cook chicken, drain, and shred.

Meanwhile boil pasta according to package.

Add cooked chicken, tomato sauce & enchilada sauces.

Let sauce simmer for about 8-10 minutes.

Add cheese and stir until the cheese is melted and heated through.

Now toss in the sour cream ...
Stir until sour cream is well mixed and heated through.

Now comes the little bit of heaven.

Drain pasta & return to pot.  Pour sauce over pasta and mix well.

Serve and garnish with avocado, tomato, green onion or a dollop of sour cream.  Personally ... I just added a salt and pepper ... and did not add anything to the top of it.  It was so darn yummy!!!  The hubs loved it.  I loved it.  Oldest daughter loved it.  Second daughter asked for seconds.  Youngest ... well ... he pushed it around his plate until I finally put the plate in the dishwasher.

Please take a moment and vote for my blog.  I think after successfull cooking something ... and the smoke dector not going off ... I deserve a vote.  *smile*  Thanks pearls & handcuffs & happy hour for the yummy receipe idea.

Suck it up Kid ...

About two weeks ago Harleigh told us that her foot hurt after basketball practice.

We basically told her to "suck it up" ...

And keep on moving.

That is ...

Until ...

This past Tuesday ...

Harleigh got off the bus neary in tears.  She was hobbling along with the other kids as they by-passed her along the sidewalk.  I could tell she really was hurting ...

Suddenly ...

I flashed back to when I was in the 3rd grade and playing kickball.

It was my turn up to kick ... I kicked the ball ... and suddenly my legs were going faster than my body ... and faster than the ball.  I literally fell over the ball ... my foot went one way ... and my body went another.

I am certain it was the most elegant and graceful thing you have ever seen.

I told my Mom after school that my foot hurt really bad ... but she told me to "suck it up".

Yep ... I am turning into my mother.  And proud of it.  Except for the whole talking to myself bit ... I would rather my sister take that trait.  Sorry sis.

The next day ... I stayed home ... and my Dad had to carry me around the house because I could not move my foot.

That afternoon ... my Mom realized that she was up for Parent of the Year ... when she saw my foot swollen and bruised.

I have always given her "crap" about "my foot nearly falling off" through out the years ... and now ... here I am ... with a daughter who has had a hurt foot for 2 weeks now ... and I am up for Parent of the Year ... again!!!

Damn it.

Anyways ... after a couple of hundred dollars on X-Rays ... the doctor told us that Harleigh pulled a bunch of muscles in her foot.

No basketball, dance or gymnastics for the next 2 to 3 weeks.

Oh ... did I mention that she is on crutches for at least a week as well???

*sigh*

AND we live in a two story home ...

*rolling eyes*

AND the size of her elementary school is gi-normous!!!

*insert bad word here*

I will admit ... after 3 kids ... my "judgement skills" of doctor's bill vs. "suck it up" are really cloudy.

I am blaming my Mom on passing this trait onto me.

Oh ... Mom ... I offically forgive you for telling me to "suck it up" all those years ago.  *innoncent smile*  *batting eyes*



Harleigh heading off to school ...
Possibly her LAST day of having to lug the crutches
through the hallways of the school.
*fingers crossed*




Harleigh standing amongest her basketball team huddle ...





Getting in and out of the Navigator is not the easiest thing to accomplish ...



Day 1 of crutches ...
We made her practice walking in them out in the garage for awhile.



Heading into the school ....
She said her armpits hurt before we even got to the crosswalk.

Harleigh was all smiles at the doctor office ...
Until they told her no basketball or gymanstics
for two whole weeks.

Please take a moment and give me a hand here ... and vote for my blog.

Pretty please ... with sugar ontop ...

There will be no blogging today.

Sorry.

But ... I have sick kid in the household.

Again.

Just when one gets over it and I ship them out the door ...

The school calls and has me come and get another one.

*sigh*

While I am playing doctor ...

Please take a moment and click on the cute little box below and vote for my blog.  One little click is all it takes ... and then you can go about your merry way.

Yes ... I might be loosing my mind from "being stuck in the house way to freaking long".

Did I seriously just dream that???

Falling asleep has been my arch-enemy lately.  I go to bed at a normal time ... and then I end up laying there ... staring at the alram clock ...then the wall ... then I listen to Clint snore ... then I stare at the alarm clock ... then the wall ... then I nudge Clint because he is snoring ...

You get the point.

I started taking Tylenol PM every now and then on the nights that I KNOW I need more than 2 hours of sleep in order to make it through the next day.

Last night was one of those nights that I took a Tylenol PM.

I heart the nights that I take Tylenol PM ... because I am sawing logs well before Clint comes to bed.  I can claim "my area" on the bed ... and Clint does not try to move me over because he knows that if he wakes me up ... there is a good chance I will not fall back to sleep.  So out of pure symphony ... he curls up on the edge of the bed and snores the night away.

Besides being in such a deep sleep that I am certain drool comes out of my mouth most of the nights ... there is another down fall to taking Tyloneol PM.

My dreams are f*ckd up.

Most of the time I wake up thinking "Did I seriously just dream that?"

Here is last nights dream.

It was Halloween ... except no one dressed up in costumes this year.  Everyone wore yellow sweatshirts with green poka-dots on it.

The kids and I headed down the block to our neighbor Amanda's house to go trick-or-treating.  The kids walk up the driveway ... and Amanda is handing out ponies as treats.  Real. Life. Ponies.  I looked at Amanda and said "What am I suspose to do with 3 ponies?  I was really hoping for a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup?"  Amanda replied with "I don't want all of these ponies in my back yard.  Plus, our pet monkey ate all of the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups."

Of course!  The pet moneky!  I always heard they liked Reese's.

DUH!!!

So we took our 3 ponies and turned up to the next block.

Except ... suddenly this block was not full of cookie cutter houses like it normally is.  It is completely out in the middle of the country ... with one home in sight ... it was our friend Kelly's house ... and it was ontop of a tall hill ... and it was neon orange.

Yeah ... I have no idea.

As the children head up the hill ... I walk over to a banana tree ... pick some banana's to feed to the 3 ponies.

I really could not even make this stupid dream up.  See why Tylenol PM is amazing ... but creepy at the sametime?!??!

As the kids head up the hill to go trick-or treating I call out to them "Ask Kelly if I can have a glass of wine.  I am really thristy."

Suddenly ... out of no where ... there are a heard of adults creeping up to the house ... and putting a "Halloween nativity sceen" on the side of the hill.  They have one of those HUGE wooden cards that people put up for Christmas ... except this one says "Happy Halloween".  And it has flying elephants all over it. 

Yeah ... I have no idea.

When the homeowners came out to give my children their treats ... they noticed the heard of adults hiding behind the Halloween nativity sceen that suddenly appeared in their driveway.  The heard of adults starting yelling at me and the kids for ruining their surprise ... and started to chase us.

Luckily for us ... we had 3 ponies to ride and get us the hell out of dodge.

Next thing I remember was the tornado sirens going off as we galloped through town ...

Turns out it was my alarm going off.

Good Morning! 

Please remember to vote for my blog.  Don't leave until you have clicked on the link below ... and cast a vote for my blog.

Sh*t my daughter says ...

The other day Harleigh informed me that she caught Clint drinking and driving.

After I got over the "I am gonna kill that man when he walks in the door" phase ... I asked Harleigh when exactly did this happen.

She informed me that he bought a Mountain Dew at Quick Trip when they were in Lawrence and drank it on the way home.

Now I must wonder how many teachers she shared this bit of information with ... but failed to mention it was Mountain Dew that Daddy was drinking.

*sigh*

SEE!!!  Clint and I are DEFINATELY leaps and bounds head the rest for parents of the year.


Please click on this link below and vote for my blog.

FYI ...

Seeing a spider in my house is not a problem.

Stepping away to grab a shoe to kill it ... and then coming back and it is gone ... now THAT is a problem!!!




Click on the link below ... and you will make me a happy camper.

Valentine's Day wreath ...

I love a pretty wreath on my front door ... but can not imagine spending buco-bucks for one.

This wreath cost me all of $25 to make!!!

I KNOW!!!

How awesome is that?!?!?!

I simple bought a clearance wreath from Hobby Lobby ... and went from there.

The sign in the middle that says "Love brings up Home" ... that is simply a cheap frame, scrapbooking paper and scrapbooking letters.

You can add whatever your little heart desires to the sides ... I only made one fabric flower because I did not have enough fabric on hand to make anymore.

I am telling ya ... simple.  easy.  cheap.

Please take a moment and vote for my blog.  It will bring a smile to my face ... and how could you resist that?!?!?!

*sigh*

Orange Nerf Gun bullets covering my downstairs can mean only one thing ... Clint had a Nerf Gun war with the kids while I was gone.


Help me save my sanity ... and vote for my blog.  I need all the help I can get on days like today.

I think I am addicted ...

Pin . ter . est (n.):
A fun reminder of the clothes I will never be able to afford/fit into, the home decor I will never be able to afford/fit into our small home, the recipes and crafts I am not talented enough to ever make, the sayings I was not clever enough to think of on my own, the photos I wish I had taken but didn't.

That is the definition of the newest craze amongest women on the internet.

Pinterest ...

It has over taken every inch of my being.

I can not stop "pinning" ...

I can not stop thinking of all the things I could create ...

Pinterest truely makes me think that I could take on Martha Stewart ... and kick her ass in the crafting department.

Pinterest is like fantasy football for woman ...

But cooler.

Pinterest makes me feel like I could actually cook some of the receipes on the website.

I really think I need help!!!

Click on this link to follow me on pintrest

Click on the link below and vote for my blog.  One second is all it takes ... for a life time of happiness for me.  Ok ... that was a bit cheesey.

What social life???

Between the 18 birthday parties and 15 sleepovers that Breeanna has attended so far this past school year ...

I am 99% sure that my 10 year old has more of a social life than Clint and I do.

On the flipside ... I can lay on the couch ... in my pj pants ... and drink wine while all these other Mom's have the sleepover for their children.


Please click on the link below and vote for my blog.  One little click is all it takes.  Pretty please?  I will buy you a bottle of wine.

Happy Valentine's Day ...

Wait!!!  Don't go yet!!!  Click on this link ... and cast a vote for my blog.

Who said Valentine's Day gifts had to be chocolates and roses?!?!?!

Since tomorrow is Valentine's Day ...

I thought I would give you "last minute shoppers" a few gift ideas for you for that special someone in your life.

Nothing says "love" better than a pink Hello Kitty bad ass gun.  And it is also a little bost of security for those moments when your husband pisses you the hell off.

Oh yes!!!  The Nipple bra.  Could you look more sexy than with your high beams on???  I think not!!!  No more hoping that you are nippin out ... now there is a bra that allows you to have that amazing look 24/7.  BONUS!

Don't have time to plot out what is gonna go on in the bedroom on Valentine's night???  No need to worry!!!  These Sex Shakers will take care of all the debate of which way to do what ... for how long ... and in what position.  Thank goodness someone thought of these things ... or Valentine's night might be a big 'ol snore for 98% of America.

I really do not even have something to say about this stupid weird odd ball what the hell contraption.  I am left speachless.  Although ... I am guessing there are alot of Chinese men that are very happy this invention came about.

On a side note ... the answer is no Clint ... we are not purchasing this.

This is the perfect gift for those men that want a beard ... but does not wanna grow one out.  Problem solved!  A beanie cap ... with a crocheted beard.  What man would not look ubber hot in this get-up?!?!?!

Why waste precious time and energy trying to control the thoughts and actions of your significant other when you can automate the process?  Let this cool remotes do it for you.  So while I am watching my LifeTime movies in the living room ... I can buzz a smart ass comment to Clint ... who can buzz a whitty reply right back.  Who needs communication skills in a marriage when you have this bad ass remote?!?!?!

He will never blame you for loosing your keys ever again ladies!!!  Just mount this devine invention to your wall ... and insert your keys into the his and her key holders.

Hurry!!!  Before you head off to find something totally amazing for your loved one ... vote for my blog.

Sh*t my son says ...

Eythen:  Bad news is I found a box of Captain Crunch behind my bed.  Good news is that I must have ate the whole box before it fell behind my bed so none of it went to waste.

I really could not even make this shit up. This is my life ... and sometimes I think I am being punked. 


Please take a moment out of your web surfing time ... and click on the link below and vote for my blog.  Click it ... now.  Go on ... I will wait.

*sigh*

I swear ... if I did not talk to myself ... the only words I would say some days would be "No" and "Stop tackling your sisters".

*sigh*


Help me out here peeps ... vote for my blog by clicking the link below.

Never a dull moment ... NEVER ...

*Eythen and Breeanna pretending like they are ninja's in the kitchen*

*While I am dodging their kicks*

*While trying to make dinner before Harleigh has to be out the door for basketball*

*And Breeanna has to be out the door for dance*

*While calling off Eythen's spelling words*

*Wondering when the hell my husband is gonna get home*

*While debating about opening up a bottle of wine and guzzling it down before Clint walks in the door*

*Realizing that if I am drunk when Clint walks in the door then he has to take AND pick up Harleigh from basketball practice*

*Coming to the understanding that if I chug down a second bottle then Clint has to also take Breeanna to AND from dance class*

Breeanna: Watch it!  You are gonna kick me in the balls if you are not careful!

*I literally drop a jar of tomato sauce out of pure shock*

Me:  What did you just say?

Breeanna:  Nothing.

Me:  Do you even know what that means?

Breeanna: Kids say it in my class all the time.  So I am guessing it is the balls of my feet.  Right?

*All the while her and Eythen are still ninja-ing the shit out of each other*

Me:  One ... we do not talk like that in our house.  Two ... Breeanna ... you do not have balls.  End of story.

Eythen:  Na-Na-Na-Na-Na ... I have balls and you don't!!!

*Turn and give a "what the f*ck look" to my son*

Me:  We do not talk like that.  Got it.

Eythen:  Well ... I do have balls.  Right?

*WHERE the HELL is my husband???*

Me:  Uhh ... yeah.  But do you have a clue what that means?

Eythen:  My butt?

Me:  No.

Eythen.  Oh WAIT!  I know!  My friend at school is always saying "Don't hit my balls" and then he grabs himself like this.  *grabbing his you know what*

Me:  What the hell is happening at recess at your school?  Good lord!

Eythen:  So were are my balls?

*Damn Clint for working late*

Me:  This is a subject that you need to talk to your Dad about. 

*14 seconds later*

Eythen:  Can I call Dad?

Me:  Why?

Eythen:  Because I wanna know where my balls are.

*make that 3 bottle of wine that I am debating about chugging down*

Please remember to vote for my blog.  Just click on the link below ... and it will cast a vote for my blog.  Throw me a bone after the evening I had ... and just click on the link.

Parent of the Year ... again ...

The other evening ... the kids were all tucked into bed ... and Clint and I were watching a movie.

Please note ... when the following events took place ... I just wanna point out that there had not been one single "nude" shot.  Not one boobie shot.  Not one butt shot.  Nothing.  So you can only imagine our surprise when suddenly there was a guys bare bumm on the screen  ... and this went down.

Harleigh"  EWWWW!!!

*blood rushes to my head*

*look over and Harleigh is standing at the top of the banister with a disgusted look on her face*

Me:  QUICK!!!  Pause the TV!!!

*waving my hands all over the place to Clint*

*Clint tries to grab the remote as quickly as he can*

*remote falls to the floor*

*suddenly the remote turns into a fumbled football and Clint and I are lunging for that freaking football*

*Clint pushes pause on the TV*

Harleigh*  GROSS!!!

*Clint and I both look back at the TV*

Of all things to be "paused" on the TV ...

You guessed it ...

The guys bare bumm.

*sigh*

Yep ... Clint and I are DEFINATELY gonna win this parent of the year thing.

We have it in the bag.

Please take a moment to vote for my blog.  One little click on the link below ... and it will cast a vote for my blog.  I have alot of catching up to do ... from when I was MIA ... due to a broken computer.

Here is to another football season done and over with ...

YAHOO!!!

YES!!!

WOOT WOOT!!!

Super Bowl Sunday!!!

It is FINALLY HERE!!!

Although ... I am celebrating it slightly different than most football loving people do.

From Labor Day weekend till Super Bowl Sunday ... my husband lives and breathes this darn stupid annoying sport.

Now go ahead and call me a party pooper all you want ... but I do not like the sport.  What. So. Ever.

Yes ... I can hear all of you football fans screaming at me at this very minute. I can hear your "BOOOOO's" right now as a matter of fact.  I think I even saw a tomato or two being thrown at me.  No wait ... that was an empty beer can.

But ... "Honey Can You Get Me A Beer" Season ... is one I could really live without.

Now don't get me wrong ... I have done the "good wife thing" in the past ... and attended KU football games with Clint ... and have had some great times ... well ... from what I can remember of those paticular Saturdays.

Between the large cooler of beer ...

To the smell of grilling in the air ...

To our KU tent put up with pride ...

Along with ump-teen million cars lined up and down the hill ...

Tailgating is a blast!!!

I will admit that.

But ...

Unfortunately ... when you are dealing with a "Pro Tailgater" like Clint ... it is an accident waiting to happen if your name is Jill ... and it is followed by the name Moore.

Add in the zillion beers that are drank (ok ... maybe not a zillion ... but when you start at sunrise and are still going after sunset ... it might be really close to a zillion beers) and mix that in with a "kid free" day ...

You have a not a so safe situation just waiting to happen.

Just like my Mom always says ... it is all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

Well, that person getting hurt ... 95% of the time ... normally is me.  And 50% of the time ... it is me falling down the steps at the football stadium.

A little FYI ... ALWAYS ... I repeat ALWAYS ... walk BEHIND me ... NOT infront of me if beer has been involved.

Don't say I did not warn ya.

Just sayin ....

Oh wait ... I need to get back on track here.  Where was I?  Oh yes ... that's right!!!

YAHOO!!!

YES!!!

WOOT WOOT!!!

Super Bowl Sunday is FINALLY here!!!

So ... while all of you football addicted peeps ... just like my die hard fan of a husband ... are all hooting and hollaring at the TV on Sunday ... cheering on another football game.  Rest assure ... that I will be right there cheering along with all of you ... but for a slightly different reason!!!  I will be cheering because... I survived another year of football!!!  AND I have nearly 6 full months that I get to have my husband without that darn brown leather thing intrupting my marriage.

GO SUPER BOWL SUNDAY!!!

YES!!!

YAHOO!!!

WOOT WOOT!!!

Please note ... Of course ... when KU Basketball is on ...

Marriages ...

Parenting ...

Laundry ...

Cooking ...

Cleaning ...

And any other thing that might get in the way ... is put on hold.

But that is a legitament reason.

Admit it ... you know it is!!!

Please take a moment and vote for my blog.  Just click the link below and vote for my blog. 

Shit my son says ...

Me: Eythen get your shoes on it is time to get out the door for basketball practice.

Eythen: I think I am gonna walk there.  See ya.

Me: I don't think so. It is dark outside and you would not be able to see where you are going.

Eythen: My eyes can see in the dark Mom.  I am like a ninja.

Clint: The boogie man will get you if you walk in the dark by yourself.

Eythen: Who exactly is this boogie man that you are talking about?  I have never met him before.  Is he some weird-o or something?



Please take a moment and vote for my blog.  One little click is all it takes ... and you will cast a vote for my blog.